Chapter 24: The Deeper Soul

The silent group of five sat around the brightly flickering fire. The night was near unto pitch black and the fire cast an almost unfriendly glow on the surrounding terrain and house. Justice and Zeal sat on either side of Yevish. Peace sat a little off to the left of Zeal and Strife sat across from her, both glaring at each other through the fires leaping rays. The events of the day had certainly not endeared them to each other anymore. Peace finally broke the silence, her mind still blatantly clear.

“What in heaven’s name was that?”

Strife raised his eyebrow, obviously not much caring that she disapproved. “It was efficient. We know what we need to now.”

“Was that really the best way to find our information?” Justice asked pointedly.

“Or necessary to go to such lengths?” Peace’s glare narrowed more.

Strife leaned back and laughed. “The best, perhaps not, certainly not the easiest. Opportunity presented itself.” He stopped and smirked to himself. “Lengths? What lengths? I hardly scratched the b….” Strife caught all four vehement glares, “woman. Just a little scare.”

“I suppose that depends on how we’re defining scratch.” Peace’s voice was low and clear.

Strife leaned forward, “What’s your problem with it anyway? She’s not one of your own, why should you care?”

Zeal and Justice were grinding their teeth, but they allowed Peace to speak for them all. “She may not be one of my own, but neither was she a pile of scraps, or a dirty rug. Regardless of her profession she is a human being. She deserves better treatment than that.”

Strife shook his head and looked up at the sky, then back at Peace, a caught chuckle coming from his partly closed jaw. “Human, perhaps… better than a pile of scraps… hnf…” Strife shook his head, his cocky smile starting to fade. “I treated her better than anyone else here would’ve. Not that you’d know that.”

“Not that I’d know what? How people work here? How they treat others?”

“You wanna’ claim you know us?” Strife’s straight lips started to curl into a snarl. “You’re just like all the others.”

“Others?” Peace’s voice rose in aggression, and then lowered to a growl. “Others?”

“Foreigners, Keesha.”

Peace drew a breath to hold back a snarl. The Keesha were foreigners who had been coming to Barakdethen for ages. Full of naïve beliefs and methods they were always trying to ‘fix’ the land and the people. They ended up making fools of themselves and injuring more than they fixed. “The Keesha’s were foolish. They knew nothing about us.” Peace snarled as she stood, preparing to turn and walk away.

“Us?” Strife stood as well, his shoulders tense. “Just because you visited before you think you’re one of us?”

Zeal and Justice both stood, anger rising in their hearts. They knew Peace had suffered far deeper at the hands of this land than either of them.

Zeal took a step forward, “You…” Peace motioned him back, and he stopped.

“Visited?” Peace took a step around the fire towards Strife, and he echoed her movements. “Visited! I suffered in this hell hole for 16 years. I lost my sister, I lost my parents, I lost my innocence, and every other scrap of quality to this land.”

“Then why did you leave? You who speaks of compassion and love. You who speaks of the saving ability of your Yeshua! Why did you leave the rest of us to suffer?” Frustration was becoming obvious in Strife’s tone.

Peace’s face suddenly dropped, her eyes leveled and the anger left her eyes. “I left because I had a chance. I left because I was tired of watching my brothers go through hell trying to keep me alive and safe. I left because they couldn’t keep it up.” Peace chocked back a tear. “I left because I was tired of being beaten, scapegoated, abused and used for every whim and purpose… again, and again…” Peace barely managed to keep herself together, her face a mix of anger, passion, and pain. She was quite surprised at herself for the suddenness of her words. She hadn’t hardly spoken of her past since she left this land, and she had certainly never burst out about it like that.

Strife seemed to calm as well. He realized he’s spoken without knowledge of the facts. He bowed his head a bit. He knew that most women of this land did not choose their paths. They were ashes on the wind, blown about by the whims of tired, lawless, and restless men. Zeal and Justice straightened and looked at Peace in surprise. They knew it was common but they had always thought they’d managed to protect her, keep her safer than most. Perhaps they had been naïve.

Strife raised his head a bit and looked at her, his voice barely a whisper, “How many men?”

Peace stroked her arm absently and looked off into the darkness that was the surrounding house. “What does it matter?”

Strife’s voice became a bit more forceful, but still full of a compassion Peace had not heard before. “How many times?”

A heave tear rolled down Peace’s cheek. “I tried to forget. I tried to…” She choked on the words. “I tried to give it up to God… and forget…” She paused and looked over at her brothers, her eyes wet. “Over fifty, that I remember… I was lucky.”

Zeal drew a sharp breath, how had they not known? How could they have missed that much?

Peace looked at him and Justice. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry. You already had so much on your young heads. Just trying to keep me alive was hard enough, especially after Hope’s death…” Peace looked back at Strife as she trailed off, then she started again. “So don’t you go telling me what I do and don’t know.” Her voice lowered to a growl again. “Don’t you go telling me about this land. I know what it’s like. I know how these people are. And don’t you dare go treating them like dirt again just because it got you what you needed. And if you so ever dare to touch one of us like that…” She didn’t finish, but she knew she didn’t need to.

Strife, for the first time since they’d met him, looked down, almost in shame. “I understand.” He managed to state. After a moment he looked back up. Her gaze had softened enough to show that they had come to an understanding. Then suddenly Strife’s eyes changed. He cocked his head to the side, a bell of recognition suddenly ringing in the back of his mind. “All those times?”

Peace looked at him, a sudden recognition now coming over her face, as further clarity flooded her eyes. “Only five men.”

Strife paused, mulling over the sudden connections that were forming. “And of those five, one was dominant.”

A silence fell again. Memories flooding through both their minds.

Suddenly there was a snap in Peace’s mind. “YOU!” She screamed. Without hesitation Peace lunged at Strife fists beating in strategic rhythm with her feet. Justice and Zeal attempted to jump forward but a set of little hand wrapped around their legs and held them back. 

They looked down and spoke in unified desperation, “Yevish!”

The little boy just sat there grasping with all his might, it was the first definite move he had made since the battle. “No, this is her battle. She had to bring herself to forgive him. If you pull her off him now she won’t ever learn.”

Zeal and Justice looked at the quickly gathering cloud of dust surrounding their sister and her newly adopted boxing bag. Justice looked back down. “Learn what?”

“Learn how to forgive.” Yevish looked over at the fighting pair, his eyes full of something deeper than most would understand. He continued quietly. “To give it up to God. The deepest thing in her past. The ugliest wound on her soul.”

Justice looked back up. Peace had beaten Strife down into the dirt. He was covering his face with his arms, attempting to salvage at least that. He did not strike back however, he just let her beat him.

“You Bastard!” Peace stood and looked down at the cowering form. Then she turned towards the sky. “Oh why, God, why?” He voice was more of a desperate scream than anything else. She turned back to Strife. “You don’t even fight back now. Why?” Strife cringed at the harshness of her voice. “Are you afraid now? Because I can finally defend myself? Because I am no longer the skeleton of a girl that couldn’t hardly throw a punch heavy enough to leave a bruise? Stand up you coward! Get on your feet you worthless rag!” Peace leaned forward, her fist brought back and ready for another blow.

Yevish rocked back and forth, keeping his grip firm, shaking his head, muttering ‘no’ over and over. Justice and Zeal just watched in stunned horror.

Strife slowly stood, Peace leaning back to allow him to. His blooded face was full of regret. He just stood there. He didn’t strike at Peace, he didn’t fall at her feet and beg, he just stood there.

Peace waited, struggling, even with her fevered mind she read him. She couldn’t hold it back any longer and tears rained down, leaving streaks across her dust covered face. “Even now you prove yourself true. You leave yourself open, you know what I need to know. I should be able to forgive you even without that. I should have been able to forgive you even before you proved your honest regret, your true repentance. Even before I met you again I should’ve been able to…” Peace stomped down and turned out toward the night. “Oh Lord of heaven, what have I done?” She looked up to heaven and poured her heart out to God with unspoken words. After a moment of silence she spoke again. “Forgive me father.” She then turned to Strife and met his gaze. “And you…” She stopped, almost afraid to continue. “Will you… will you forgive me?” She met his eyes for a moment and then bowed her head.

Strife took one sturdy step over to her. He looked down at her. “Yes, to the ends of the earth yes. If that is what you truly need.” His own eyes filled then filled with tears as he dropped to his knees and placed one battered hand over his heart, his other clinging to Peace’s “But you… will you… can you… Can you forgive me?”

Peace didn’t speak for a moment. She looked back up at the heavens, then back down at Strife. She knelt and looked him face to face, taking both his hands in hers. “I can through God, and I do… Only through God though… His love, His forgiveness. Only by that can I do what I should have done so long ago.”

Strife embraced her then, grief and forgiveness, and a love from on high flooding over them. Strife whispered to himself “Oh how great your faith in one whom’s existence I can’t even bring myself to believe.”

Suddenly three sets of arms embraced the two, Yevish’s little ones drawing Peace and Strife to himself. He whispered to them both, “I knew you could. I knew you could find God within yourself, and forgive. I knew it.” Peace reached out and embraced the child as a pale morning sun began to dawn.

It was going to be a lot harder than she’d thought, but God knew what he was doing, and he was going to mend her, to mend them all. No matter what it took, by the time He was done, they would all be closer to God than Peace had ever imagined possible. Hearts where beginning to mend. Love was beginning to shed its light on a land that had dwelled in hate for far too long.